ZÜRIGAY SZENE

Zurich's gay scene is not dead, but...

Time to give you an update about Zurich, one year after we renamed the community from "Zurigay.ch" to "gaYmeBoys.com" because we had to admit that Zurich was not a gay metropolis anymore. Zurich is not dead. But it changed completely: While 5 years ago the best clubs were dirty, sweaty, loud and packed with horny men, wo came together every weekend from Milano till Munich for an erotic dance experience to extatic techno tunes, we now face a new generation who attach more impotance to glossy flyers, big labels, perfect merchandising, clean floors, air conditioning, vip areas and well behaved guests who enjoy their drinks and say no to drugs, officially. The music is house and charts, commercially approved to the taste of the majority.

While the ancient Labyrinth had a rigid door man who let in only gay men and very few selected straight guys and girls, today every one who bought a presale ticked over the internet can enter a gay party. The result is that on a dancefloor you more likely get in touch with a girl's handbag than with a male body. The party guys in our age miss the horny atmosphere - the younger generation seems to be happy when they can take their girl friends with them. So the parties are designed after the needs of the girl friends: not too dark, clean toilets and many security guys in black suits who obviate every touch below the hips.

2007:
Only 5 years ago we demonstrated with a funeral march at the CSD against the sex ban of the police to our gay clubs. The police wanted to separate parties and sex into different places but we argued that sex and dance are intrinsically tied to each other in our gay culture. We won the trial. But now the gays did to themselves what the law couldn't: They cleaned up the parties and put the sex to where it also belongs in the heterosexual world: into hidden places nobody talks about.

iPhones instead of cocks:
For those who have never been to one of the "real gay clubs" it makes no odds. Clubs are for socialising, showing around coolness and the latest iPhone. If you want sex, you start in the internet and meet in a private place. Sex and dance have nothing in common - to fuck you maybe need a condom but not a dj. This leads to the funny situations where two good looking gays can stand close to each other on a dancefloor, both are horny but they don't see each other because the one is on Grinder and the other on Gayromeo. And after the party both complain about the lack of cute guys...

That's how the new parties are. We used to play with cocks. The gays of today play with their smart phones. And Apple guarantees that no naked dick ever makes it into an iPhone app.

Private parties:
So what happened to the "real party gays" you may ask. There were always just 20% who came into the clubs to dance. The other ones came to find sex. Music was o.k. for them but not important. When police raids and smoking ban made the clubs even less attractive, many guys decided to resign on the djs and switch to private parties where one can enjoy cocks, drugs and smokes much easier. There are many private parties today in Zurich, but you won't find them in a public agenda and you won't be able to enjoy great music and a real dance floor atmosphere. Well, there is one party... but as it's strictly private, I cannot tell you...

Current events:
So if you're not invited to the one and not satisfied with the others, you can either catch the plane to Berlin or wait for one of these few events: The 3 circuit parties of the Angels: White, Black and Kitsch: Big names behind the turn tables, hot gogos, but no sex for the audience. At least you can take your shirt off and touch some nipples. Usually the Flexx after parties are good. But as they are hold in straight venues, there is also no darkroom and you risk to be kicked out when acting too gay. The only parties with a dj, where one can still see naked cocks on a floor, are Celestial @ Aaah! (but the club will be closed by the end of February 2013) and Family Affair @ six9six (where it's not sure how long they can stay in this location).

The other parties are not bad: Aviator, Boyahkasha, Jack,... They are just not really gay. Or not in the sense of homosexual. You can meet nice guys and nice girls in a pleasant atmosphere and hold hands with any gender type you like without getting in trouble. Zurich is a nice place. It's clean, it's secure. That's all you need to win the Mercer city rating.